too much.

I am just going to vent about that fact that I have not been in the same place with my boyfriend, make that fiance, for more than like 2 weeks in over 4 years. I seriously cannot take it anymore and it is definitely taking its toll. Basically we have this year to get through. However, Alex has no idea what he is doing next year, so he could be living with me here in Madison or stay in Dekalb for another 2-3 years, or be living in Chicago or the like. Who knows. I hate this instability. I just want to know that in about 9 months we'll "be together;" in the same state, same area code, same town. I'm pretty doubtful that this will happen, so I guess it's looking like until 2012 (when we're married) we're not going to be "together."

GUHHHH...

Guh. I have coined this phrase to mean, "ugh, i hate my life." or "ugh, what the eff?" It's just a word of anger, pissyness, or disgust. And, let me tell you, I have been using it like it's going out of style. Lately, I have been super bored. I work 8:30-5ish, come home, and sit on this goddamn computer for wayyy too long. Most of my roommates are never home, which sucks. And tv gets old fast, especially because my job usually consists of me watching tv for hours on end. I thought this summer in Madison would be amazing and fun. But it has been nothing but work, computer, and tv. And I absolutely cannot handle it anymore. Guuuuhhhh, that is all.

Anxious. Anxious. Anxious.

Hello friends.

I am new to the blogging world, so don't mind my lack of amazing writing or topics. I'm sure it will be pretty boring. Anyhow, as you can tell from my information I am engaged to my high school sweetheart, Alex. We've been dating since our freshman year, age 14...we're now 22...that means, almost 8 full years together (10-06-09 will be 8 years). So it's been almost undeniable that an engagement would soon arrive. Well, 05-22-09, it did! We went on a small vacation to Ft. Lauderdale, FL and Alex proposed on the beach our last night there. It was amazing and pretty much exactly how I hoped it would be.

Sounds fabulous, right?

WRONG!

Here comes the anxious part...
Well, it seems like Al and I will not be getting married for a few (about 3) years. I hate this so much and am so anxious to start planning and to just be together, in one place. But, to be smart, we are waiting until we both graduate school (Al- May 2010, Me- December 2010) and we find "real people" jobs. Since I am graduating at an awkward time in terms of getting a full time teaching job, that puts me at potentially having my own classroom for the 2011-2012 school year. Because we would also love a summer wedding, that puts our tentative wedding date somewhere around June 23, 2012. Yikes. Also, Al plans to go to graduate school right after he graduates from NIU, so depending on where he gets accepted/goes, we may or may not be able to live together in the same city until that year of our wedding! This is all kind of a mess, but we both agree that our financial stability is the most important thing, however, we do not want to sacrifice certain aspects of our dream wedding to get married early/cheaper. So, I'm thinking I am going to have to suck it up, stop planning, and hope for the best. And play the lottery.